It seems that choice is a word frequently in use – even more so these days – as we get closer to the election and hear the criteria people use to make their personal choice.
Choice is one of the core concepts in transformational work. I realized that all of the approaches I use incorporate a focus on it in some way:
- In Integrative Coaching, we look at how people choose to interpret the events in their lives, and the actions and words of others. We choose to create a meaning, but there may be more than one meaning at play.
- In Somatic Repatterning, we look at letting go of old belief statements. In doing so, we ask the client – is it a choice to let it go or is something else needed to create that shift? Sometimes a shift is as simple as making a choice.
- In Aura-Soma as clients select the bottles with the color combinations they are most drawn to, we are reminded that – You are the colors you choose. Think about the colors of the clothing you choose to wear and how they might reflect your mood.
- In Systemic Constellations, as we become aware of and accept the patterns that exist in our ancestry, we may then choose to do something differently than our ancestors. In doing so, we choose to create a new path for ourselves.
When I look outside of the transformational coaching work I do, choice abounds. We:
- Hope that we get into our college of choice
- Purchase choice meats because they are a higher grade
- Choose the type of medical coverage and care that best supports us
- Place value on being chosen to be part of a team
- Say “I choose you” in our primary relationship
- Have a myriad of choices in how we eat (vegan, vegetarian, dairy-free)
- Choose from an untold number of diets (Mediterranean, Dash, etc.)
And the list goes on.
In those instances, we are choosing what values and honors us as an individual. I recently heard someone say – your rights end where mine begin. It got me curious about how that might apply to choice, and how one person’s choice might negatively impact someone else. We:
- Design laws meant to keep people safe (i.e. speed limits). Some (i.e. speeders) choose to ignore them possibly creating harm for someone else.
- Follow a religion chosen either through birth or other circumstances. Some choose to judge one as better than all others sometimes leading to acts of violence.
- Have recently seen how some wealthy individuals, decided to use their money to get their children into choice schools. In doing so, they negatively impacted the choice of some who applied based on their merits.
When we choose to believe that our way of thinking or the approach we take to a problem is the only way or the right way for all, we step into an obstinate opinion. Obstinate opinions close off innovation, creativity, and connection. They may even lead to us manipulating, lying, and being hypocritical in order to get our way.
In your life is it, my way or the highway? Or do you allow in others viewpoints, creative options, and the impact on others? If you are stuck in an obstinate opinion, see yourself as the know-it-all, or feel there is only one choice for everyone, consider how transformational coaching could support you to create new pathways for growth. For a complimentary coaching conversation, please contact me.
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