Mindy’s Blog

Too Much or Not Enough – Finding a Balance

Too Much or Not Enough – Finding a Balance

Sometimes we think that more is better. A simple expression of this is when people trade up to bigger houses, more expensive cars, and fill their closets with expensive designer clothing. People who vie for bigger titles and higher salaries, or follow prescribed...

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Small Steps to an Outcome – Tiny Projects

Small Steps to an Outcome – Tiny Projects

Most of us are familiar with the phrase “eat an elephant one bite at a time”. The phrase highlights how things in our lives that may seem overwhelming, can be accomplished by taking on a little at a time. I saw this approach used during my years in corporate program...

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To Whom Are You Loyal – The Freedom to Disagree

To Whom Are You Loyal – The Freedom to Disagree

The news of politicians being censured for not following the party line, had me recalling something that happened in my college days. In my final year the department decided that we had to do a senior’s exam in my particular major in order to graduate. I chose a...

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A New Year – What Holds Us Back

A New Year – What Holds Us Back

When you look at your resolutions and goals from years gone by, what do you notice about the obstacles that got in your way and held you back from achieving your desired outcome? Can you see that some of them are obstacles imposed by the world in which you live while...

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A New Year – What Moves Us Forward

A New Year – What Moves Us Forward

January is the time of year when we make resolutions, establish goals, and determine how we move forward into a new year. As I was reflecting on some practices that I utilize and saw others discuss online, I noticed an interesting distinction. Some practices are more...

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Into the Divide: How to Be Kind to Yourself

Into the Divide: How to Be Kind to Yourself

As much as it is important to look at how we can come together within our families and communities, it is equally important to look at how to align within ourselves. One of my clients recently commented that after doing the work within themselves (inner work), they...

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Into the Divide – What Brings Us Together

Into the Divide – What Brings Us Together

Heading into the holiday season it feels like a good time to look at how we can be kind to each other, honor each other, and get along more easily. As I’ve read social media posts and listened to conversations, it is difficult to miss the divisiveness that lives...

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Not Good Enough – Uniquely You

Not Good Enough – Uniquely You

I was listening to a conference recently and one of the sessions was about the often discussed thread of “not good enough”. I was struck by something the speaker said when describing an experience she had before writing her first book. When someone casually suggested...

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Not Good Enough – Perpetuating a Myth

Not Good Enough – Perpetuating a Myth

I recently had a conversation with someone about a completed project. During the conversation, a comparison was made between the project and an outcome it was never meant to achieve. In that moment, I had a clear insight into how someone can create or perpetuate an...

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Choice – Impossible Choices

Choice – Impossible Choices

At times we have a single option, while at other times we have too many, making it difficult to decide among them.  We hear stories about individuals who have to choose between paying their rent and buying food or those who have to make a life and death decision very...

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Choice – A Core of Transformation

Choice – A Core of Transformation

It seems that choice is a word frequently in use - even more so these days - as we get closer to the election and hear the criteria people use to make their personal choice.  Choice is one of the core concepts in transformational work. I realized that all of the...

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Cause and Effect – One Thing Leads to Another

Cause and Effect – One Thing Leads to Another

During a recent presentation, I asked the audience If someone remarries, is their first spouse part of the family lineage or not?  The responses were a mixture of yes, no, and yes, if there are children involved. The answer is yes. The first spouse is part of that...

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Cause and Effect – A Reverberating Gift

Cause and Effect – A Reverberating Gift

Throughout my years of personal transformational work and trainings, the approach of family constellations has uncovered many amazing insights and created profound change. A recent experience highlighted for me, not only the importance of this work but how the system...

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Tending Your Personal Landscape – What is a Personal Landscape?

Tending Your Personal Landscape – What is a Personal Landscape?

Earlier this year, the Program Chair for the Raleigh Chapter of the International Coach Federation asked me to be the theme coordinator for the Q3 programs. The Board selected themes for each quarter and with the third quarter’s focus on Tending Your Personal Landscape, she felt that aligned well with my background and interest.

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Finding the Good – Revealing the Hidden Lesson

Finding the Good – Revealing the Hidden Lesson

For a long time, I was challenged to see the good in things that happened to me growing up. How could the way certain people treated me possibly contain anything positive?  The traumas, the being excluded, feeling deep fear and like I was never enough – these experiences felt overwhelmingly negative without an ounce of positive in the mix.

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The True You – Owning All Aspects of Yourself

The True You – Owning All Aspects of Yourself

In viewing the news, it amazes me to see the amount of name-calling, mocking, and other devaluing behaviors demonstrated by “mature” adults. The judgments spewed out towards people who are different from them, who have opinions that disagree with theirs, and who reflect qualities they seem to dislike.

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A Sense of Self – Shifting Identity

A Sense of Self – Shifting Identity

Have you ever gone through a life transition and asked yourself the question, who am I now? Consider for a moment, that major life transitions are accompanied by a change in how we describe ourselves. A change in who we are, our sense of self. You become an empty...

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A Sense of Self – I AM

A Sense of Self – I AM

When something appears in my world three times, I take it as a sign to pay attention. This has been the case with finding options for my health, pursuing career opportunities, and connecting with new people. The most recent situation in which this occurred was with...

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Options to an Outcome – Your One Word

Options to an Outcome – Your One Word

In the last few years, I have noticed January is full of reminders about identifying your “one word” for the year. There are posts on Facebook, group meeting agendas, and casual conversations all centered around the topic of identifying and sharing the word that best reflects your focus for the year.

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Reflections and Projections

Reflections and Projections

Over the last few months, I have taken a hiatus from formal blogging while sharing personal musings in my monthly newsletter. Various projects have been underway during that time, including a re-design of my website.

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Family Constellations – Insight of Animals

Family Constellations – Insight of Animals

Family Constellations, created by Bert Hellinger, are one of the key transformational tools I discovered on my healing journey. Constellation work focuses on how our family of origin impacts who we are at a variety of levels, and in ways we do not even realize....

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Taking Steps Forward – The Blame Game

Taking Steps Forward – The Blame Game

Recently, I have been struck by the blame game highlighted in various ways throughout the news and events in the world. Sometimes blaming comes through directed words (it is all your fault), other times through hand gestures (pointing your finger at someone). In other...

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Pathways to Your Goals – Bridging and Chunking

Pathways to Your Goals – Bridging and Chunking

I was recently contemplating a wellness related goal I had set for myself. My first thought was I had not reached my goals, which felt disappointing. After further consideration, I recognized that while I had not fully achieved the goal as defined, I had taken several...

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Inclusion and Exclusion – Judgment

Inclusion and Exclusion – Judgment

In one of my corporate roles, I was considered to be extremely analytical and intense. Expectations of me, opportunities for me, and interactions with me were impacted by those “judgments” and “labels” held by others. After health issues started me on my journey to...

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Inclusion and Exclusion – Life Events

Inclusion and Exclusion – Life Events

Recently, I was watching a video about a first time meeting between a biological father and the daughter he did not know he had. After watching their heartwarming encounter, I was struck by how he acknowledged a new member of his family. He used words to the effect of...

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InSights – In-Consistent

InSights – In-Consistent

There seems to be a great deal of inconsistency in the world these days and it can sometimes lead to a sense of chaos and churn. While great things are born out of chaos and churn, there are times when consistency provides a more useful and clear message. Think about...

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In-Sights – In-Flexibility

In-Sights – In-Flexibility

In June, I had the opportunity to attend my first formal teacher training which was held at a facility in a small town in the UK. I had been told that the facility did not have hair dryers and I dutifully packed the travel one I had used in the UK before, along with...

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Flow and Alignment – Teamwork within Yourself

Flow and Alignment – Teamwork within Yourself

Stepping into flow sometimes happens when we set an intention and the world around us cooperates seamlessly. Think of it like a sports or business team that shares a common goal. All the players work together to make it happen as a unit, stepping into the energy of...

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Taking Ownership – Choosing How to Respond

Taking Ownership – Choosing How to Respond

Before I became focused on the world of personal improvement, I held roles in corporate America related to customer satisfaction and business process quality. There were several phrases that have stuck with me from that time: How come we never have enough time to do...

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Life Transitions – Honoring Our Unique Journey

Life Transitions – Honoring Our Unique Journey

Throughout our lives there are many transition points, but the personal significance of each event varies by person. For some people, milestone birthdays serve as transition points; for others events such as graduation, starting a job, getting married are when life...

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Life Transitions – Honoring the Generations

Life Transitions – Honoring the Generations

I was recently reading an item on LinkedIn referencing a term we sometimes call people that might be considered derogatory. I was scanning the comments and saw one that suggested that the use of this term should end with the last of the baby boomers. My first reaction...

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How We Receive – Feedback

How We Receive – Feedback

We all have many opportunities to receive and give feedback. As children, students, friends, employees, and team members, we are given formal and informal input on our behaviors, our looks, and our performance, among others. As parents, teachers, bosses, and leaders,...

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How We Receive – Perception and Judgments

How We Receive – Perception and Judgments

My last blog included a reference to the number of people from both sides of my family. After reading the blog post, one of my cousins pointed out an aspect that I had excluded – the difference in size of the generations. As I sat with her feedback, I came to see how...

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Connecting with Other – Exclusions

Connecting with Other – Exclusions

Having experienced and studied systemic constellations for over a decade, I have seen a pattern that creates an impact in peoples’ lives and the lives’ of the next generation – exclusion. During the luncheon after my mom’s service, I noticed that while there were...

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Connecting with others – Good Deeds and Mitzvahs

Connecting with others – Good Deeds and Mitzvahs

Before and after my Mom’s passing, there were synchronicities and signs that became apparent. One thing that struck me as I listened to her friends was how she liked to give of herself. Whether it was as a resource instructor helping students with learning challenges...

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A Letting Go – Creating New Meaning

A Letting Go – Creating New Meaning

To continue with things I’ve learned from the recent passing of my mom, I wanted to share an experience from clearing out her apartment. When she moved there nine years ago, my mom took beautiful artwork, tasteful pieces of furniture, and enough photographs to fill an...

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A Letting Go – Dedication to my Mom

A Letting Go – Dedication to my Mom

Over the last few months, I took a break from my blogging while my Mom was journeying through the final months of her life. I lacked the inspiration to write over that time, and felt my higher priority was to work through all the “end-of-life” twists and turns and...

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Pet Peeves – What They Might Say About You

Pet Peeves – What They Might Say About You

One day I was at the grocery store in the section that features pastries you buy in small quantities. I noticed a woman getting a box of small cookies and for every two that went in the container for checkout, another one went into her mouth. While I’m sure that...

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Differing Pathways – Achieving a Goal

Differing Pathways – Achieving a Goal

There are many different pathways to achieve a goal. Some people believe all that is needed is to create a vision, define a strategy, identify actions and take steps forward. While there might be obstacles, they can be addressed as they appear. My experience is that...

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Differing Pathways – Aligning with your Passion

Differing Pathways – Aligning with your Passion

As a manager and coach, I have been fascinated when looking at the career paths people have chosen. I have heard stories of people who knew from the age of 3 what they wanted to be – firefighter, doctor, or engineer – and they stay with that for their entire career. I...

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Two Ends of The Spectrum – Illusion or Reality?

Two Ends of The Spectrum – Illusion or Reality?

I recently took a picture of an outdoor scene and as I looked at it in my phone gallery, I noticed that it did not look “real”; it looked like an optical illusion with no fancy editing on my part. Then I saw a share on LinkedIn regarding the “Iceberg Illusion” which...

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