Mindy’s Blog

Meeting in the Middle – A Place of Balance

Meeting in the Middle – A Place of Balance

During a recent out of town trip, I heard myself saying to my husband – “stay in the middle lane”. I’ve found it a useful approach when driving in unfamiliar places since you limit the impact from people who want to speed as well as from those who want to drive below...

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Hidden in the Shadows – Your True Self

Hidden in the Shadows – Your True Self

After publishing my first book, I heard from numerous people that it was full of lessons. I have pondered that perspective over the last few years as I thought of the specific lessons I perceived. I was intrigued by what others...

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Bullying Ways – What We Suppress Persists

Bullying Ways – What We Suppress Persists

Growing up I remember being told to stay away from the cookie drawer. That request only caused me to want those cookies even more. Now having studied the systemic work of family constellations, I can see one of the core principles at work – what we exclude may expand...

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Bullying Ways – The Mirror in Name Calling

Bullying Ways – The Mirror in Name Calling

Recently, I saw a post with pictures of mirrors and a reference to the “shadow”. Since that is one of the core transformation approaches I studied and share with clients, I started looking around to see where it was clearly reflected in daily life. I quickly noticed...

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Remembering Ourselves – Where Patterns Begin

Remembering Ourselves – Where Patterns Begin

I thought I had a topic for my blog, and then the events in Ukraine knocked me off balance. I allowed myself some time and space to be present with what I was feeling, and an unexpected inspiration gave me a fresh perspective. Whatever lenses you are using to view...

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What We Leave Behind – Our Selves

What We Leave Behind – Our Selves

After several colleagues mentioned some new assessments tools they found helpful, I was curious to explore. With my interest in self-discovery, I wondered what they would highlight, especially now that I am numerous years outside of my corporate persona. I found the...

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What We Leave Behind – Honoring Our Ancestry

What We Leave Behind – Honoring Our Ancestry

I recently created a shadow box of memorable items from my family. In the same week it was completed, I had conversations with several people who shared that they felt younger generations today are becoming less and less interested in items from the past. Diminished...

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Starting A New Year – Core Goals and One Word

Starting A New Year – Core Goals and One Word

January is that time of year when I see emails about defining your one word for the year and your core area of focus. There are countless reminders to create your vision board, address your money blocks, commit to taking care of your health, and more. All of these are...

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Bullying Ways – The Mirror in Name Calling

Being Kind – Kindness through Change

There is a saying I have heard throughout the years of my personal journey – “our outer world is a reflection of our inner world” or, a similar version of the same sentiment; “our inner world is expressed in our outer world”. In my personal experience, this is true....

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Being Kind – Start by Being Kind to Yourself

Being Kind – Start by Being Kind to Yourself

I love the stories of the kindness of others - whether it is the videos of Secret Santas, neighbors helping neighbors, or groups of people rallying around those in a time of need. But how good are you at being kind to yourself through the actions you take and the...

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Sense of Self-Value – Are You Mean?

Sense of Self-Value – Are You Mean?

Bullying takes many forms. One common aspect of bullying that I experienced was name calling. Using a different variation of my name, a group of individuals would chant – mirror, mirror on the wall who is the ugliest of them all. What they were saying felt mean. In...

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Sense of Self-Value – Valuing Yourself

Sense of Self-Value – Valuing Yourself

A few months ago, I participated in several events connected to high-value clients and high-value programs. While I understand the rationale behind the concept, I found myself triggered by the term “high value” especially when used in reference to a group of people. I...

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Too Much or Not Enough – Finding a Balance

Too Much or Not Enough – Finding a Balance

Sometimes we think that more is better. A simple expression of this is when people trade up to bigger houses, more expensive cars, and fill their closets with expensive designer clothing. People who vie for bigger titles and higher salaries, or follow prescribed...

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Small Steps to an Outcome – Tiny Projects

Small Steps to an Outcome – Tiny Projects

Most of us are familiar with the phrase “eat an elephant one bite at a time”. The phrase highlights how things in our lives that may seem overwhelming, can be accomplished by taking on a little at a time. I saw this approach used during my years in corporate program...

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To Whom Are You Loyal – The Freedom to Disagree

To Whom Are You Loyal – The Freedom to Disagree

The news of politicians being censured for not following the party line, had me recalling something that happened in my college days. In my final year the department decided that we had to do a senior’s exam in my particular major in order to graduate. I chose a...

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A New Year – What Holds Us Back

A New Year – What Holds Us Back

When you look at your resolutions and goals from years gone by, what do you notice about the obstacles that got in your way and held you back from achieving your desired outcome? Can you see that some of them are obstacles imposed by the world in which you live while...

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A New Year – What Moves Us Forward

A New Year – What Moves Us Forward

January is the time of year when we make resolutions, establish goals, and determine how we move forward into a new year. As I was reflecting on some practices that I utilize and saw others discuss online, I noticed an interesting distinction. Some practices are more...

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Into the Divide: How to Be Kind to Yourself

Into the Divide: How to Be Kind to Yourself

As much as it is important to look at how we can come together within our families and communities, it is equally important to look at how to align within ourselves. One of my clients recently commented that after doing the work within themselves (inner work), they...

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Into the Divide – What Brings Us Together

Into the Divide – What Brings Us Together

Heading into the holiday season it feels like a good time to look at how we can be kind to each other, honor each other, and get along more easily. As I’ve read social media posts and listened to conversations, it is difficult to miss the divisiveness that lives...

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Not Good Enough – Uniquely You

Not Good Enough – Uniquely You

I was listening to a conference recently and one of the sessions was about the often discussed thread of “not good enough”. I was struck by something the speaker said when describing an experience she had before writing her first book. When someone casually suggested...

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Not Good Enough – Perpetuating a Myth

Not Good Enough – Perpetuating a Myth

I recently had a conversation with someone about a completed project. During the conversation, a comparison was made between the project and an outcome it was never meant to achieve. In that moment, I had a clear insight into how someone can create or perpetuate an...

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Choice – Impossible Choices

Choice – Impossible Choices

At times we have a single option, while at other times we have too many, making it difficult to decide among them.  We hear stories about individuals who have to choose between paying their rent and buying food or those who have to make a life and death decision very...

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Choice – A Core of Transformation

Choice – A Core of Transformation

It seems that choice is a word frequently in use - even more so these days - as we get closer to the election and hear the criteria people use to make their personal choice.  Choice is one of the core concepts in transformational work. I realized that all of the...

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Cause and Effect – One Thing Leads to Another

Cause and Effect – One Thing Leads to Another

During a recent presentation, I asked the audience If someone remarries, is their first spouse part of the family lineage or not?  The responses were a mixture of yes, no, and yes, if there are children involved. The answer is yes. The first spouse is part of that...

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Cause and Effect – A Reverberating Gift

Cause and Effect – A Reverberating Gift

Throughout my years of personal transformational work and trainings, the approach of family constellations has uncovered many amazing insights and created profound change. A recent experience highlighted for me, not only the importance of this work but how the system...

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Tending Your Personal Landscape – What is a Personal Landscape?

Tending Your Personal Landscape – What is a Personal Landscape?

Earlier this year, the Program Chair for the Raleigh Chapter of the International Coach Federation asked me to be the theme coordinator for the Q3 programs. The Board selected themes for each quarter and with the third quarter’s focus on Tending Your Personal Landscape, she felt that aligned well with my background and interest.

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Finding the Good – Revealing the Hidden Lesson

Finding the Good – Revealing the Hidden Lesson

For a long time, I was challenged to see the good in things that happened to me growing up. How could the way certain people treated me possibly contain anything positive?  The traumas, the being excluded, feeling deep fear and like I was never enough – these experiences felt overwhelmingly negative without an ounce of positive in the mix.

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The True You – Owning All Aspects of Yourself

The True You – Owning All Aspects of Yourself

In viewing the news, it amazes me to see the amount of name-calling, mocking, and other devaluing behaviors demonstrated by “mature” adults. The judgments spewed out towards people who are different from them, who have opinions that disagree with theirs, and who reflect qualities they seem to dislike.

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A Sense of Self – Shifting Identity

A Sense of Self – Shifting Identity

Have you ever gone through a life transition and asked yourself the question, who am I now? Consider for a moment, that major life transitions are accompanied by a change in how we describe ourselves. A change in who we are, our sense of self. You become an empty...

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A Sense of Self – I AM

A Sense of Self – I AM

When something appears in my world three times, I take it as a sign to pay attention. This has been the case with finding options for my health, pursuing career opportunities, and connecting with new people. The most recent situation in which this occurred was with...

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Options to an Outcome – Your One Word

Options to an Outcome – Your One Word

In the last few years, I have noticed January is full of reminders about identifying your “one word” for the year. There are posts on Facebook, group meeting agendas, and casual conversations all centered around the topic of identifying and sharing the word that best reflects your focus for the year.

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Reflections and Projections

Reflections and Projections

Over the last few months, I have taken a hiatus from formal blogging while sharing personal musings in my monthly newsletter. Various projects have been underway during that time, including a re-design of my website.

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Family Constellations – Insight of Animals

Family Constellations – Insight of Animals

Family Constellations, created by Bert Hellinger, are one of the key transformational tools I discovered on my healing journey. Constellation work focuses on how our family of origin impacts who we are at a variety of levels, and in ways we do not even realize....

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A Healing Journey – Physical Well-Being

A Healing Journey – Physical Well-Being

Several people have suggested I write about one of the techniques I include in my coaching practice. As I pondered which one to include, I started to think that instead of a specific technique, I would take a broader view. This month, I decided to share my personal...

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Taking Steps Forward – The Blame Game

Taking Steps Forward – The Blame Game

Recently, I have been struck by the blame game highlighted in various ways throughout the news and events in the world. Sometimes blaming comes through directed words (it is all your fault), other times through hand gestures (pointing your finger at someone). In other...

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Pathways to Your Goals – Bridging and Chunking

Pathways to Your Goals – Bridging and Chunking

I was recently contemplating a wellness related goal I had set for myself. My first thought was I had not reached my goals, which felt disappointing. After further consideration, I recognized that while I had not fully achieved the goal as defined, I had taken several...

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Inclusion and Exclusion – Judgment

Inclusion and Exclusion – Judgment

In one of my corporate roles, I was considered to be extremely analytical and intense. Expectations of me, opportunities for me, and interactions with me were impacted by those “judgments” and “labels” held by others. After health issues started me on my journey to...

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Inclusion and Exclusion – Life Events

Inclusion and Exclusion – Life Events

Recently, I was watching a video about a first time meeting between a biological father and the daughter he did not know he had. After watching their heartwarming encounter, I was struck by how he acknowledged a new member of his family. He used words to the effect of...

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InSights – In-Consistent

InSights – In-Consistent

There seems to be a great deal of inconsistency in the world these days and it can sometimes lead to a sense of chaos and churn. While great things are born out of chaos and churn, there are times when consistency provides a more useful and clear message. Think about...

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