A few years ago, I wrote a blog series about connections. I included a personal example of what happened when I reached out to people who had been important in my early life but with whom I had lost touch – https://systemsofchange.com/connection-reconnect-to-disconnect/.
This year, I again felt drawn to ponder several relationships. The pandemic and its aftermath seemed to create a new closeness with some people and a greater distance with others. At the same time, some of the “distant relationships” continued to have a hold on me. They were with individuals with whom I felt a connection, yet the connection had become more one-sided over time.
I was reminded of the quote – “People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime”. With social media, it can be easier to stay in touch with people who fit all three of these categories. Yet, it does not always reflect the depth of the connection itself.
With reciprocity in mind, the situation begged the question – how do I let go of a connection that meant something to me, but no longer valued me? Just like the clothing that hadn’t been worn in several seasons, and the mementos that were gathering dust, it was an opportunity to look at whether it was time to reconnect or disconnect.
I started by noting names and then decided whether to email, call, send a card or connect in some other way to initiate contact. In some instances, the outreach was received and we reconnected. In others, the communication was simply acknowledged, and in a few instances, the response was silence. With each type of response, I now get to choose how to move forward – stay in touch, shift the connection, or find a way to close the relationship in a way that honors what was.
As we move into the season of endings and beginnings, how might you look at personal and business relationships that are in need of reconnection or disconnection? The meaning of each type of relationship is something to honor, but are they best for you to keep, or release?
- What are relationships that feel one-sided?
- How do you end relationships so you have a sense of closure?
- When ending a long-term relationship, do you ghost the other person, or honor what was?
- How do you acknowledge and process the emotions you experience that are part of letting go?
- In what ways does letting go, value you?
Sometimes relationships connect us to our past – to experiences both positive and negative. Whenever I take someone through Healing Your Heart coaching, I am reminded of the power of finding the gift or lesson in the negative to create a transformation.
Similarly, if we are unknowingly stuck in the past, it affects our ability to move forward in relationships and other aspects of our lives in the present. Future Focused coaching is a 6-week 1:1 coaching program that helps uncover what we need to let go of in order to move forward.
Contact me for more details on these and other transformational programs to support you in finding what no longer serves you and needs an ending; a letting go.
© 2022, Systems of Change, LLC