In the core transformational approaches that I use with my clients, one common thread is in finding the gift; the good in what might appear less than positive. There are some powerful ways this focus is represented in my transformational coaching.

  • In Integrative Coaching this concept comes through in the phrase Debbie Ford often spoke – “the gold is in the dark”.
  • In Aura-Soma, one element is to look at our challenge as the wrapping around our gift. When we can see our “gift wrapped in a challenge”, we are better able to see the positive that comes from working through a negative.
  • In Voice Dialogue, we are able to give voice to different “parts” of ourselves, even those we might have rejected and listen to what they have to offer us.
  • In Family Constellations, we acknowledge what was, take the learning from it, and choose something different – all while seeing the positive aspects we can personally carry forward from past generations.

These methodologies are diverse, but hit on a core element – an opportunity to shift our perspective and uncover the good, the gold, the gift, in what might otherwise be perceived as negative.

I had a recent experience that reminded me of how I sometimes overlook the positive. However, when I looked again, the gift was unmistakable. Here is something I previously shared with some family members and friends.

A few weeks ago, as I pulled into the parking lot for my OsteoStrong appointment, I noticed that there were an unusual number of robins flying around from tree to tree. I mentioned it to the person who supervised my session as I was leaving, and he had noticed the same. Walking to my car, they continued to fly around and then as I looked up, there in the tree next to my car was one robin, just sitting there. I noticed that it was quite plump and as I continued to look, I suddenly had a memory from when my dad passed away, 20 years ago this week.

The service and gathering of family and friends were over. I had decided to stay a few more days to help my mom, and one of my brothers had as well. It was cold and there was snow on the ground; not a lot but enough that when I looked out the family room sliding glass doors, it was easy to spot the red splash of color against the white of the snow. It was a plump little robin, hopping around. I was surprised to see a robin with the weather as it was, and I turned around to call to my mom and brother to come see. When I turned back around it was gone.

After that experience, I saw birds at various times that somehow felt connected to my dad, including a crow that flew alongside my car when I was driving on Route 9 in Framingham one day. There have been fewer bird visits in recent years, and it was nice to see the robin and sense that clear memory of my dad. Interesting too because in doing a recent transformational process on myself around sweets, it led me back to my father. To anchor in the change, I created a new affirmation as I love to do. This time it was – “I connect to the sweetness of the memories of my father”. That plump red robin helped me connect once again to my dad and remember more clearly my sweet memories of him.

I invite you to explore the dynamic of perceiving the “good” and “bad” in your life situations. How easily do you see the positive in the perceived negative events of your life? Are you able to see the gifts in challenging relationships or get stuck in what wasn’t? If you find yourself leaning towards the negative in viewing relationships, give yourself the gift of registering for the Information Session about Healing Your Heart Coaching on February 24th.

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