Boater at SunsetOver the last few months, I have taken a hiatus from formal blogging while sharing personal musings in my monthly newsletter. Various projects have been underway during that time, including a re-design of my website – www.systemsofchange.com

A key theme I have noticed over these last few months is how patterns present in our ancestry, interactions with other people, the colors that we wear, and the environment we call our home are both reflections, and projections, of our inner world.

Here are some examples where the energy of reflections and projections came into clearer focus and provided additional understanding.

What Appears on the Surface May Not Reflect the Whole Truth

I recently had the opportunity to attend a Systemic Constellation workshop and look into the influence of what I call “The Decision of The Great Grandfathers”. On the surface, my great grandfathers made very different choices, yet those choices were similar in that they impacted subsequent generations.

This transformational activity also taught me that while their decisions appeared to be different on the surface, underlying each choice was a common driver. I now see those ancestral choices in a totally different way. At the same time, I can also see how the dynamics of those choices has been reflected in situations and experiences throughout my own lifetime.

Consider a situation, conversation, or prior experience you have had where it turned out the motivation behind what unfolded was different than you thought. What happened when you discovered a new perception of the motivation?

When Others Reflect or Project

I always find it intriguing when people provide me with input that is actually a reflection of themselves. I saw a very clear example when I was driving at a shopping center. I had brought my car to a complete stop, then turned right towards the parking spaces when a woman suddenly turned left out of the first parking row and cut me off. As she drove off, I saw her clearly mouth the words – “don’t drive so fast”. I thought to myself, “how is driving 5 miles an hour going fast?” and “Oh, by the way, you were the one who cut me off”. Then I smiled as I realized, she must have been talking to herself. I love when that happens!

Some other examples, when:

  • Someone who tells me I am over-scheduled but who is never available when I call
  • An individual who describes me in a certain way which actually reflects how I see them

Ever have someone reflect back to you a pattern that you see clearly in them? Does that pattern really describe you, them, or both of you?

Reflections of Color

I work with a color system called Aura-Soma and I am always amazed at how our challenges can be uncovered by exploring new insights through color. Consider color language that is common in our conversational lingo such as “green with envy” or “having the blues”. Think about how you choose the color of your car or home. Look at all the different places color appears as part of daily life– assessment tools use colors to categorize thinking styles and other preferences, facilitation tips recommend avoiding red and orange markers as they may generate anger and frustration, and traffic signs use different colors to help us navigate the road safely.

We can have an excess, deficit or balance of color. For instance, if we have an excess of red, it might be red-hot anger. If we have a deficit of red, it may reflect in our blood and we are anemic. We can bring balance to color by adding the complementary opposite. When you are angry and step into the green of nature, it can bring you to balance. I was at a meeting recently and one person who wears almost exclusively royal was commenting about feeling some energy twinges. As I reflected on the pattern, I realized they had an excess of royal blue and might benefit from adding some yellow or gold.

Look around your house, your office, and your closet. Do you have an excess of one color, an absence of another, or a solid balance?

Please check out my new website – https://systemsofchange.com/ – and take the opportunity to sign up and connect with me to have a conversation about how transformational coaching can support you.

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