At times we have a single option, while at other times we have too many, making it difficult to decide among them. 

We hear stories about individuals who have to choose between paying their rent and buying food or those who have to make a life and death decision very quickly. Sometimes these situations may feel like we have an impossible choice. 

  • How does one choose between having a roof over their head or food on the table?
  • What about a decision between a life-saving drug or clothing for your children?
  • How about staying in a bad relationship in order to have financial security?

These are choices in everyday life. Either/or options with a seemingly no-win outcome. While difficult to make, these choices are typically made consciously.

In transformational work, I encounter individuals who experienced impossible choices that resulted in them unconsciously creating strategies that no longer serve them. Consider how:

  • Self-sabotage can grow when an event creates an inner conflict
  • “Double binds” (choice between two undesirable options) place someone in no-win situations
  • Detachment may have initially served to protect us, but now creates distance and disconnect
  • Questioning what to do leads to self-doubt and indecision

Look at whether you use any of these strategies currently for making life decisions. Include in your review, whether there were choices made in your ancestry that continue to ripple through your lineage decades later. Some examples of these types of choices can include:

  • Decisions to move, leaving some family members behind
  • Choices in careers, focused on allowing the family to survive but not thrive
  • Approaches in handling family traumas that leave their mark long-term

If you uncover an impossible choice, a double bind or conundrum, the first step to creating a new choice strategy is awareness. Then identify an updated strategy that supports you in making a choice that is in alignment with your present circumstances. Are you able to build a strategy that reduces self-sabotaging behaviors, unravels double binds, allows for inner connection, eliminates self-doubt, and honors the decisions of your ancestors while taking a different path that honors you now?

If you find yourself stuck, going in circles, or steeped in self-doubt, it might be time for some transformational coaching. Please consider contacting me for a complimentary coaching conversation.

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