In one of my corporate roles, I was considered to be extremely analytical and intense. Expectations of me, opportunities for me, and interactions with me were impacted by those “judgments” and “labels” held by others.
After health issues started me on my journey to wellness and I started to dig deeper, I discovered that my analytical side was created out of the need to suppress my emotions (analyze, don’t feel). The intensity (which appeared when I felt backed up against a wall) was born out a buried experience when I was literally backed up against the wall by some of my classmates.
Was I analytical and intense? Yes. Did the judgments, labels, and exclusionary interactions of others seek to understand the causes? No. Nor did they help me feel included or valued. They did, however, eventually provide the input that became my catalyst for change.
How many of us judge others because of:
- How they look?
- What religion they are?
- How they make us feel?
When we judge others, we are excluding them. Examples of judging are when we:
- Play favorites
- Mock or humiliate someone in front of others
- Name call
- Laugh behind someone’s back
- Tell someone they will never amount to anything or can’t achieve their dreams
We say we need to teach our children not to bully others. I’d invite you to take a look in the mirror and reflect as to whether you are modeling inclusive, non-judgmental behavior to your children, your friends, your employees, and your colleagues. If you do judge, bully, or mock others, take a moment to consider how that might be a reflection of something you don’t like in yourself.
© 2018 Systems of Change, LLC
Wonderful reminder for me that what I dislike in others can only mean it is in me, even if slightly! Good suggestions for teachers, parents and our children to learn trust, empathy & tolerance.
Hi Elaine, always important for us to look at ourselves and change and grow and teach others in positive ways. Your words “even if slightly”, really struck me. Thanks for reading and for your comment. Mindy