Throughout our lives there are many transition points, but the personal significance of each event varies by person. For some people, milestone birthdays serve as transition points; for others events such as graduation, starting a job, getting married are when life shifts occur.
I can still remember a memorable transition point for myself when I turned eighteen. I was at the swimming pool and a lifeguard yelled – adult swim, everyone under eighteen out of the pool. My mind had some difficulty grasping that I was officially in the adult category; eventually I adjusted. There were of course others and continue to be, including milestone birthdays, graduations, job changes, marriage, and more recently the passing of my Mom (the last member of her generation).
One of the things I admired about my Mom as she got older was how she let go of parts of who she had been with grace. While some people move out of their homes kicking and screaming, she made a choice. At the time of her move, she willingly gave up driving. When she could no longer take plane flights by herself (at the age of 95), she invited us to come visit her. While she resisted in some instances, and kept at things longer than most, it was admirable to watch how she stepped into a new expression of herself.
Think of the times when you had a major transition in your life that required you to create a new expression.
- Going away to school
- Starting your first job
- Ending a relationship
- Shifting into retirement
- Experiencing a significant loss
How did you navigate the waters of those changes? Did you give yourself time or feel like you should have all the answers immediately? What was your level of resistance and how did you work through it? Did you stay stuck in the past or move easily forward?
Consider applying similar considerations to objects you hold on to. Many of us have houses that contain objects that reflect places we have been, people we are connected to, and family and friends who have passed on. What do these objects mean to you? What would happen if you let them go or transformed them into something different?
In what way does holding on to old identities, outdated behaviors, relationships that are no longer meaningful or items that no longer serve a purpose keep you from allowing new and usually better things to come your way? At Systems of Change, our focus is on supporting people through transitions and life shifts by shining the light on hidden patterns that keep you from flourishing. Whether it be family dynamics, inner conflicts, unhelpful behaviors, or a lack of vision as to what is next, see if transformational coaching might be for you by scheduling a 30 minute clarity call at www.systemsofchange.com
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