As I was working towards a wellness goal, I remembered a phrase that supported me while I was quitting smoking. I uncovered it one day, when I was clearly tempted to go back on my “quit” plan after getting into an argument with someone. As I talked myself through the emotions, and fought the urge to get a cigarette, I said to myself – I am more important than that. The phrase helped me through the craving and reminded me that the goal was to honor my health.

The day I remembered how that phrase had supported me, I spoke with two individuals who interestingly enough – found a phrase of their own that allowed them to stay focused on a wellness goal. In one instance, it was phrased as a question and in another; it was framed as an affirmation/mantra to create a new way of thinking.

I have seen several listings for group discussions where the topic is “what is your one word” for the next year. Having one word keeps you focused and aligned. Other meetings are to share one book, or one approach that made a significant change in your life during the year.

Sometimes we find the perfect phrase to keep us moving towards a goal or transforming an old way of being, other times we find the one practitioner who has our key, or receive an insight that gives us resolution. For others, working towards a goal or releasing something that no longer serves them requires an unraveling to reveal a deeper truth or belief.

Take for instance, someone who wants to give up sweets. While it could be as simple as finding a discipline or a mantra, what if the desire to eat sweets comes from a combination of the following:

  • Holding a hidden loyalty to a parent who loved sweets
  • Having a deep-seeded feeling there is no sweetness in life
  • Being in conflict with the need for disciplined eating versus the desire for instant gratification
  • Feeling a lack of love from a parent and bringing in sweets as a way to give self-love
  • Rebelling against being told that they cannot have sweets

Can you see how it might require an unraveling to get through these different layers?

When you set your goals for 2019, consider whether a specific phrase would help you hold focus on your outcome. At the same time, be mindful – has this goal been on your list before? If you are challenged to achieve your outcome, maybe there is an unraveling of layers that needs your attention to move forward on the pathway to your goal. Uncertain, which would pertains to you? Please contact me at for a free clarity call.

©2018 Systems of Change, LLC