Mindy’s Blog
A Sense of Time and Distance – It’s a Matter of Distance
At a recent networking event, we somehow got on the topic of tailgaters and drivers who don’t use their directionals. Both driving situations seemed to create levels of unease and annoyance for those around them. Using a directional is second nature to me and provides...
A Sense of Time and Distance – It’s a Matter of Time
Ever notice that some people seem reply to emails almost instantaneously, while others take days or even weeks to reply? While we may receive more emails in a day than we can possibly response to, the time it takes for us to reply does have an impact on how others...
The Nature of Questions – Observing the Reaction of Others
Questions have always been a part of my life and essential to the jobs that I have held, which may be why I ask lots of them. I also am curious, have a need for context, and like things to make logical sense. Understanding that my tendency was a questioner, and seeing...
The Nature of Questions – Uncovering the Layers
When I worked in the world of quality assurance, one of the key tools we regularly used was the 5 Why’s. The 5 Why’s is a questioning approach to get to deeper and deeper layers of an issue until one arrived at the root cause of a problem.
Reflections and Projections
Over the last few months, I have taken a hiatus from formal blogging while sharing personal musings in my monthly newsletter. Various projects have been underway during that time, including a re-design of my website.
Family Constellations – Connection with Objects
In family constellations, we begin the process by understanding the client’s area of concern and learning more about their family. We then identify the appropriate members of the family to include and select…
Family Constellations – Insight of Animals
Family Constellations, created by Bert Hellinger, are one of the key transformational tools I discovered on my healing journey. Constellation work focuses on how our family of origin impacts who we are at a variety of levels, and in ways we do not even realize....
A Healing Journey – Beneath the tip of the iceberg
As I talked about in my previous post, my healing journey started with a physical symptom. My dream was to find an alternative approach that would address the diagnosed symptom. Over a seven-year period, I experienced many different modalities, worked with wonderful...
A Healing Journey – Physical Well-Being
Several people have suggested I write about one of the techniques I include in my coaching practice. As I pondered which one to include, I started to think that instead of a specific technique, I would take a broader view. This month, I decided to share my personal...
Hearing What is Not Said – Resistance and Listening to Messages in your Environment
If we find ourselves hanging onto to people, objects, goals, and other ways of being, we may have stepped into resistance to change. While in that space of resistance, there may be subtle or sometimes not so subtle messages in our environment that give us the nudge to...
Hearing What is Not Said – Resistance and Listening to Yourself
Having done my own personal development work for many years, I have periodically heard a practitioner say – “you are resisting”. In some instances, my “resisting” led to a productive discussion with a trusted practitioner. Other times it turned into a more...
Taking Steps Forward – Working Together as a Team
Have you ever been involved with a work team, where everyone wants to assign the blame or cause of the problem to someone else? Or maybe they label their fellow team members as lazy or incompetent, overly analytical or stuck in the details. Better yet, maybe they call...
Taking Steps Forward – The Blame Game
Recently, I have been struck by the blame game highlighted in various ways throughout the news and events in the world. Sometimes blaming comes through directed words (it is all your fault), other times through hand gestures (pointing your finger at someone). In other...
Pathways to Your Goals – Bridging and Chunking
I was recently contemplating a wellness related goal I had set for myself. My first thought was I had not reached my goals, which felt disappointing. After further consideration, I recognized that while I had not fully achieved the goal as defined, I had taken several...
Pathways to Your Goals – Unraveling and Clicking in
As I was working towards a wellness goal, I remembered a phrase that supported me while I was quitting smoking. I uncovered it one day, when I was clearly tempted to go back on my “quit” plan after getting into an argument with someone. As I talked myself through the...
The Dynamics of Honoring and Merging Systems – in families
At the recent constellation workshop I attended, one example used to demonstrate the concept of systems meeting systems was expectations people have within a marriage. More specifically, it was about doing the dishes and taking out the garbage. Consider for a moment,...
The Dynamics of Honoring and Merging Systems – in Organizations
During a recent family constellation training, someone mentioned the dynamic of systems meeting systems. As we discussed the concept, I realized that the perfect example of this in an organization would be a merger or acquisition (M&A). The system of the company...
Inclusion and Exclusion – Judgment
In one of my corporate roles, I was considered to be extremely analytical and intense. Expectations of me, opportunities for me, and interactions with me were impacted by those “judgments” and “labels” held by others. After health issues started me on my journey to...
Inclusion and Exclusion – Life Events
Recently, I was watching a video about a first time meeting between a biological father and the daughter he did not know he had. After watching their heartwarming encounter, I was struck by how he acknowledged a new member of his family. He used words to the effect of...
InSights – In-Consistent
There seems to be a great deal of inconsistency in the world these days and it can sometimes lead to a sense of chaos and churn. While great things are born out of chaos and churn, there are times when consistency provides a more useful and clear message. Think about...
In-Sights – In-Flexibility
In June, I had the opportunity to attend my first formal teacher training which was held at a facility in a small town in the UK. I had been told that the facility did not have hair dryers and I dutifully packed the travel one I had used in the UK before, along with...
Flow and Alignment – Teamwork within Yourself
Stepping into flow sometimes happens when we set an intention and the world around us cooperates seamlessly. Think of it like a sports or business team that shares a common goal. All the players work together to make it happen as a unit, stepping into the energy of...
Flow and Alignment – Teamwork in Your Outer World
Last month, I travelled to attend a class for my own personal development. It was hosted in Montreal and my husband opted to go with me to explore the area. He was scheduled to return on the last day of the workshop, a day before me. At 4am that morning, he woke up in...
Taking Ownership – Who Is Responsible for the Glazing on my Car
While we have a role in our interactions and experiences with others, and can choose how to respond, certain situations call into question the concept of responsibility. I had parked my car at the local garage for a trip and upon my return, found what initially looked...
Taking Ownership – Choosing How to Respond
Before I became focused on the world of personal improvement, I held roles in corporate America related to customer satisfaction and business process quality. There were several phrases that have stuck with me from that time: How come we never have enough time to do...
A Point of View – Not Enough or More Opportunity
There are times when I find myself reading the comments that people leave in response to print news items. While some articles elicit notations of sympathy or encouragement, more often than not they become the starting point for finding the negative, focusing on one...
A Point of View – Perspective on Time Management
I have been working to publish two blogs a month, sharing insights on different facets of transformational work. I also publish a newsletter that includes further detail on the theme of those monthly blogs. In March, I shifted my focus slightly to incorporate...
Life Transitions – Honoring Our Unique Journey
Throughout our lives there are many transition points, but the personal significance of each event varies by person. For some people, milestone birthdays serve as transition points; for others events such as graduation, starting a job, getting married are when life...
Life Transitions – Honoring the Generations
I was recently reading an item on LinkedIn referencing a term we sometimes call people that might be considered derogatory. I was scanning the comments and saw one that suggested that the use of this term should end with the last of the baby boomers. My first reaction...
How We Receive – Feedback
We all have many opportunities to receive and give feedback. As children, students, friends, employees, and team members, we are given formal and informal input on our behaviors, our looks, and our performance, among others. As parents, teachers, bosses, and leaders,...
How We Receive – Perception and Judgments
My last blog included a reference to the number of people from both sides of my family. After reading the blog post, one of my cousins pointed out an aspect that I had excluded – the difference in size of the generations. As I sat with her feedback, I came to see how...
Connecting with Other – Exclusions
Having experienced and studied systemic constellations for over a decade, I have seen a pattern that creates an impact in peoples’ lives and the lives’ of the next generation – exclusion. During the luncheon after my mom’s service, I noticed that while there were...
Connecting with others – Good Deeds and Mitzvahs
Before and after my Mom’s passing, there were synchronicities and signs that became apparent. One thing that struck me as I listened to her friends was how she liked to give of herself. Whether it was as a resource instructor helping students with learning challenges...
A Letting Go – Creating New Meaning
To continue with things I’ve learned from the recent passing of my mom, I wanted to share an experience from clearing out her apartment. When she moved there nine years ago, my mom took beautiful artwork, tasteful pieces of furniture, and enough photographs to fill an...
A Letting Go – Dedication to my Mom
Over the last few months, I took a break from my blogging while my Mom was journeying through the final months of her life. I lacked the inspiration to write over that time, and felt my higher priority was to work through all the “end-of-life” twists and turns and...
Deflecting – Not Owning Your Greatness or Your Value
Earlier this month, I wrote about deflecting caused by not taking responsibility for your actions, reactions, imperfections, and outcomes. That type of deflection is really about not owning what is less than perfect about yourself. However, some people experience...
Deflecting – Not Taking Responsibility or Ownership
One of the key concepts in the transformational approaches I have studied is that of responsibility; meaning, being responsible for your actions, reactions, imperfections, and outcomes. It differs from what one might traditionally perceive as responsibility such as...
Pet Peeves – Could They Represent Expectations You Have of Others?
Continuing with my pondering of pet peeves this month led me to the behavior of tailgating, or driving dangerously close to someone’s bumper. While living in the Northeast, driving was always an interesting challenge. However, I never noticed as many tailgaters as I...
Pet Peeves – What They Might Say About You
One day I was at the grocery store in the section that features pastries you buy in small quantities. I noticed a woman getting a box of small cookies and for every two that went in the container for checkout, another one went into her mouth. While I’m sure that...
Differing Pathways – Achieving a Goal
There are many different pathways to achieve a goal. Some people believe all that is needed is to create a vision, define a strategy, identify actions and take steps forward. While there might be obstacles, they can be addressed as they appear. My experience is that...
Differing Pathways – Aligning with your Passion
As a manager and coach, I have been fascinated when looking at the career paths people have chosen. I have heard stories of people who knew from the age of 3 what they wanted to be – firefighter, doctor, or engineer – and they stay with that for their entire career. I...
Two Ends of The Spectrum – Illusion or Reality?
I recently took a picture of an outdoor scene and as I looked at it in my phone gallery, I noticed that it did not look “real”; it looked like an optical illusion with no fancy editing on my part. Then I saw a share on LinkedIn regarding the “Iceberg Illusion” which...
Two Ends of The Spectrum – Are You Evolving Or Devolving?
When I received my MBA, I was convinced I was going to work in corporate until I died. As I experienced more transformational work and expanded my learning focus to more right-brained endeavors, I found I no longer had that interest. I have discovered a similar...
Focus On the Positive – Everyone Has Something to Teach Us
Transformational work invites us sit with what might not be working in our lives and look at how to shift, change, reframe, or learn from it to make it more positive - including how we see our relationships and connections. As the people in my world grow older, I have...
Focus On the Positive – Being Grateful and Celebrating Success Leads to More
I was recently at an association meeting where we were asked to share a key a’ha from this past year. Some people shared quotes, others books, methodologies, and more. It was amazing to see the diversity of what had influenced our year and I felt grateful for all that...
Dangling Threads – People Dumping
During a class I attended recently, we were having a break time conversation that came around to the topic of what to do when a long-term relationship suddenly ends without any closure. Of course there are reasons such as death which preclude any type of closure....
Dangling Threads – How Holding on Saps Your Energy
In several of the transformational programs I have attended, the topic of things left undone was an area for review. Whether it was incomplete projects or unspoken communications, these unfinished activities tend to be like dangling threads – and keep unraveling and...
Naysayers – Devaluers – When others can’t see you
In my role as a manager, a team facilitator, and a coach, I am always intrigued by how people value themselves (or don’t), and the way their self-image aligns, or doesn’t, with what others see. How many times have we heard stories of famous people who were turned down...
Naysayers – Bullies – Hurting others and yourself
As I read yet another article about a child committing suicide because of bullying, I think back to my own experiences and sometimes wonder, “Where does the need to bully comes from?” Where do children learn to bully? Are they born with the bully gene and then happen...
Parallels – Life Wheel for You and Your Organization
During my study of Systemic Dynamics in Organizations based on the work of Bert Hellinger, it was fascinating to see how we bring our families into our work life. Children who don’t feel they fit into their families can end up in roles where they don’t quite fit (i.e....
Parallels – Team and Individual Goals
All of the corporate roles I’ve had involved teams - hundreds of them. There were teams driving process improvement, facilitating mergers and acquisitions, and overseeing the development of products and services, among others. Whether it was leading them, facilitating...
Perspective – It Can Be All in How You See It
The lens or filter of perspective has implications for how we receive and interpret the behaviors of others and receive the world around us. Perspective changes with new life experiences, when we take on different roles, and can call on us to be flexible when “looking...
Perspective – Can You or Can’t You
Many of us have seen the quote from Henry Ford - “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” In speaking with several people recently, I’ve been struck by the influence of their can or cannot perspective and how it reinforces the point of this...
Lesson from my Garden – Vision Doesn’t Always Work Out The Way You Plan
As I look out my office window, I can see the vision of three very tall sunflowers with beautiful golden blossoms. For me, they also reflect how the outcome doesn’t always turn out exactly as we had hoped or planned. My connection with sunflowers started as a child...
Lesson From My Garden – Cultivating a Vision
In looking out at my garden one day, I realized how a vision I had several years ago had become a reality. I always loved the striking blue blossoms of certain hydrangeas but never had planted one. For some reason, the idea stuck in my mind, so I decided to visit the...