Mindy’s Blog
Self-Care – Creating a Routine
Over time I’ve worked with various practitioners, each with their own recommended approaches. I’ve also studied different approaches for personal growth and identified some health conditions needing attention. The result is that my list of self-care practices has...
Self-Care – How Robust is Your Self-Care Practice?
With Self-Care Month underway, it’s a good reminder to consider the different ways that we can practice self-care. Why is it important to practice self-care? I’d say it is to nurture ourselves body, mind and soul and support ourselves in living our best lives. What...
Stepping into Freedom – Aligning with Your Truth
I was thinking of a video regarding an individual who achieved something others thought impossible, and a beautiful expression was shared along with the video content – “never allow the opinions of others, to become the myth that defines you.” That feels like freedom...
Stepping into Freedom – Endings and Letting Go
In 2023, I wanted to rework key portions of my website to clarify how I provide value for my clients. I began my content updates with support from Katharine McMahon, Storybrand Guide and Marketing Strategist. As we worked through elements of the Storybrand template, I...
Overwhelm – Contradictions
Overwhelm comes in different forms, ranging from too many items on your list to numerous stressful events happening at the same time. Contradictory messages and explanations can often lead to a feeling of overwhelm no matter how seasoned or prepared you are. Here are...
Overwhelm – It’s Too Much
With holiday shopping, end-of-year events, and family gatherings, there is a lot on most peoples’ lists. I have heard from numerous individuals during the last few weeks, that there is too much going on. Too many tasks on the to-do list Too much stress triggering...
A Circle of Kindness – It Starts with You
In my mind, I continue to hear a phrase from one of the “kindness” videos I’ve watched. To paraphrase it – “Kindness, when done correctly, creates a circle. The circle starts with you.” I also remember a phrase from another kindness video. Someone pays for a homeless...
A Circle of Kindness – Treating Others as Valuable
Throughout this year, I have noticed a particular repeating pattern. The color combination – pink and violet – has appeared in many different ways and spaces. This combination of colors is also present in one of the Aura-Soma® bottles, a bottle with the name of...
Detours – How Do You React or Respond?
All the “detours” that happened on the river cruise and the behaviors of people on the detoured trains noted in my previous blog, "Detours-External Factors" highlighted an important element. We all encounter detours, but how do we respond to them? Here are some of the...
Detours – External Factors
During the final day of a recent river cruise vacation, my husband and I decided to utilize the UK underground to get to a tour bus and see the city. The hotel concierge gave us information to get to the underground station, but he was unaware that on this particular...
Intentionality – Letting Go to Return to Yourself
I first saw an Aura-Soma® training called The Seven Levels of Letting Go numerous years ago. At that time, I told myself I wanted to attend. It was my intention. Several years went by… and there was no offering. Then, earlier this year, I received a pleasant surprise....
Intentionality – Bringing in Color
In making updates to my website recently, I was speaking with some people who commented on my logo. I mentioned that the colors were each chosen for a specific reason; there was intention behind the decision. After hearing that, one of them suggested I write a blog...
A Difficult Difference – Adult Bully Role Models
It is fascinating to watch as the number of adults modeling the behavior of bullying continues to expand, grow and take on new and creative expressions. There is some effort in schools to reduce the amount of bullying that happens. However, it might be time to...
A Difficult Difference – Twisted Truths
While I experienced the impact of differences of opinion while facilitating work teams, it’s been fascinating to notice the ever-growing divergence of viewpoints and ways people share them, in the world today. In my facilitating days, I worked to find approaches to...
Going in Circles – Stepping into Patience
When was the last time you heard someone say something like – just be patient, you need to be patient, or stop being so impatient? It’s been interesting to notice the number of people I’ve spoken with recently who are being called upon to be patient. Patience is a...
Going in Circles – Ways to Step out of the Maze
Recently I attempted to get in touch with a local branch of a national company and found myself in a maze of automation. When I first called, there was a set of recorded FAQs that were helpful but didn’t answer my question about this specific location. I called the...
It’s Complicated – Pathway to Yourself
Someone recently asked me if there was a common approach and result for my clients. The question was due in part to my having a variety of service offerings, similar to practitioners that I have worked with in doing my own transformational work. There are definitely...
It’s Complicated – Nuances of Responsibility
I was speaking with someone recently and they were telling me about a situation where there was a misunderstanding and hurt feelings. As we discussed it, the person looked at aspects where they could take responsibility and at one point appeared to take responsibility...
The Influence of Expectations – Shoulding on Ourselves
How often do you hear yourself saying, “I should”? I should have known better. I should be able to do that. I should have aced that interview or exam. I should have done something differently. If you do this, say – “I am shoulding on myself”. Hear what those words...
The Influence of Expectations – Setting an Expectation Can Make a Difference
Recently I worked with a client where the outcome of the coaching session was a set of action steps around setting and better understanding expectations. Shortly after that client conversation and right before Christmas, I was in the deli line at a local supermarket...
Endings and Beginnings – Bringing the New Year into Focus
As we finish out the year and create our intention for the next, there are many areas in which we can let go. Devaluing relationships, unhealthy habits, areas of imbalance, and patterns that keep us from achieving our dreams and goals are just a few examples. At the...
Endings and Beginnings – Reconnect or Disconnect
A few years ago, I wrote a blog series about connections. I included a personal example of what happened when I reached out to people who had been important in my early life but with whom I had lost touch -...
Meeting in the Middle – – Holding on or Letting Go
I was reading an article about someone who experienced a tragedy when they were young. When I read the lines…one person told them to “just get over it”, I was reminded of another time I heard those same words. It was a comment by an individual in politics who said –...
Meeting in the Middle – A Place of Balance
During a recent out of town trip, I heard myself saying to my husband – “stay in the middle lane”. I’ve found it a useful approach when driving in unfamiliar places since you limit the impact from people who want to speed as well as from those who want to drive below...
Relationship Lines – Taking Responsibility for Yourself
Consider times in your life when you set a goal to achieve that was important to you, but in some way you sabotaged yourself, put obstacles in the way, or in general made things more difficult. I recently experienced this situation when it came to my health. I...
Relationship Lines – Boundaries of Responsibility
I recently worked on a presentation with Betsy Hostetler (HostetlerConsulting.com) entitled Creating Relationship Awareness Through a Systemic Lens. As we worked together, it was interesting to see how we were able to combine our different personalities and unique...
Creating Space – Making Room for Ourselves and Our Growth
In our busy lives, where jobs, children, friends, family, household chores, and to do lists fill our days, it is important to remember to make space for ourselves. We can create space by making ourselves a priority, putting our needs before others, or letting go of...
Creating Space – Options, Choices and Respect for Others
As I listen to a variety of discussions about how to address certain “big life topics”, it strikes me that: Some people think that their choice is right for everyone and applies in every situation There are some approaches that sell themselves as the one and only way...
Hidden in the Shadows – The Ramifications of Choices
While my corporate quality career is long over, there is one phrase that continues to stick with me – “Why do we never have enough time to do it right, but we always have enough time to do it over”. The need to do it over was in part, because we either didn’t fully...
Hidden in the Shadows – Your True Self
After publishing my first book, I heard from numerous people that it was full of lessons. I have pondered that perspective over the last few years as I thought of the specific lessons I perceived. I was intrigued by what others...
Bullying Ways – What We Suppress Persists
Growing up I remember being told to stay away from the cookie drawer. That request only caused me to want those cookies even more. Now having studied the systemic work of family constellations, I can see one of the core principles at work – what we exclude may expand...
Bullying Ways – The Mirror in Name Calling
Recently, I saw a post with pictures of mirrors and a reference to the “shadow”. Since that is one of the core transformation approaches I studied and share with clients, I started looking around to see where it was clearly reflected in daily life. I quickly noticed...
Crossing Boundaries – Who Does Your Choice Impact
Choice is another concept that is woven through the Meeting the Shadow program. Choice in this instance includes how we choose to interpret events, whether or not we choose to forgive, and the degree to which we choose to look at the lessons and gifts within even the...
Crossing Boundaries – Where Responsibility Begins and Ends
Having recently completed another Meeting the Shadow series, I reconnected with the importance of one of the core concepts - responsibility. Responsibility is taking ownership for what we have created in our lives, both the good and the not “as good”. Yet, many people...
Remembering Ourselves – Finding Hidden Treasures
Would you rather listen instead? Click here for the 4-minute audio recording. After years of accumulating stuff, something inspired me to finally see that I have enough, I am enough, and I know enough. In alignment with that, and in conjunction with my...
Remembering Ourselves – Where Patterns Begin
I thought I had a topic for my blog, and then the events in Ukraine knocked me off balance. I allowed myself some time and space to be present with what I was feeling, and an unexpected inspiration gave me a fresh perspective. Whatever lenses you are using to view...
What We Leave Behind – Our Selves
After several colleagues mentioned some new assessments tools they found helpful, I was curious to explore. With my interest in self-discovery, I wondered what they would highlight, especially now that I am numerous years outside of my corporate persona. I found the...
What We Leave Behind – Honoring Our Ancestry
I recently created a shadow box of memorable items from my family. In the same week it was completed, I had conversations with several people who shared that they felt younger generations today are becoming less and less interested in items from the past. Diminished...
Starting A New Year – Core Goals and One Word
January is that time of year when I see emails about defining your one word for the year and your core area of focus. There are countless reminders to create your vision board, address your money blocks, commit to taking care of your health, and more. All of these are...
Starting A New Year – Stepping Back to Move Forward
I was speaking with a friend recently and she reminded me of how years ago I shared that I turn right in order to go left. I started doing that because at times I would wait for what felt too long for two lanes of traffic to clear. When I first shared this driving...
Being Kind – Kindness through Change
There is a saying I have heard throughout the years of my personal journey – “our outer world is a reflection of our inner world” or, a similar version of the same sentiment; “our inner world is expressed in our outer world”. In my personal experience, this is true....
Being Kind – Start by Being Kind to Yourself
I love the stories of the kindness of others - whether it is the videos of Secret Santas, neighbors helping neighbors, or groups of people rallying around those in a time of need. But how good are you at being kind to yourself through the actions you take and the...
Sense of Self-Value – Are You Mean?
Bullying takes many forms. One common aspect of bullying that I experienced was name calling. Using a different variation of my name, a group of individuals would chant – mirror, mirror on the wall who is the ugliest of them all. What they were saying felt mean. In...
Sense of Self-Value – Valuing Yourself
A few months ago, I participated in several events connected to high-value clients and high-value programs. While I understand the rationale behind the concept, I found myself triggered by the term “high value” especially when used in reference to a group of people. I...
Too Much or Not Enough – Finding a Balance
Sometimes we think that more is better. A simple expression of this is when people trade up to bigger houses, more expensive cars, and fill their closets with expensive designer clothing. People who vie for bigger titles and higher salaries, or follow prescribed...
Too Much or Not Enough – Finding The “Antidote”
In one of my blogs, (https://systemsofchange.com/our-unique-journey-be-patient-with-how-the-path-unfolds/) I wrote about the impact of impatience on our journey. Shortly after the three experiences noted in that blog post that highlighted impatience, I saw three...
A Systemic Viewpoint – Taking Your Place Creates Alignment
I was speaking with someone recently about the importance of “taking their place”. This systemic phrase regarding placement can appear in different ways ranging from one’s place in the birth order to owning your place as the creator of a program. The person’s reaction...
A Systemic Viewpoint – Belonging Starts with Your Ancestry
I was listening to some recent conversations about creating belonging in organizations. One area of discussion was related to teams and ensuring that everyone’s voice is heard. It reminded me of my corporate days when I was facilitating teams. I focused on ensuring...
Our Unique Journey – Be Patient with How the Path Unfolds
I was inspired to write about impatience after seeing three car incidents; at least two of them linked to impatience. During a recent errand run, the traffic was detoured due to two destroyed vehicles and eight police cars and ambulances taking up space in the...
Our Unique Journey – Comparisons Can Take You Off Your Path
One of the transformational approaches I love working with is Aura-Soma®. I discovered it while living in Boston when buying a book for a friend at a local Whole Foods Market. After scanning the shelves and finding a gift for her, I was drawn to another book with a...
Small Steps to an Outcome – Tiny Projects
Most of us are familiar with the phrase “eat an elephant one bite at a time”. The phrase highlights how things in our lives that may seem overwhelming, can be accomplished by taking on a little at a time. I saw this approach used during my years in corporate program...
Small Steps to an Outcome – Acknowledging Accomplishments
How often do you take time to acknowledge the small wins on the way to a bigger outcome? It is fascinating to watch clients and other people I know focus on what they haven’t accomplished - yet. They haven’t gotten to the final goal weight, their dream job or their...
Who Knows Best – Internal and External Reference Points
I was speaking with a friend recently, and was reminded of working with people who come through differently than they intend. Several people have reminded me that how we come across is a factor of the other person’s perceptions and projections. However, there are...
Who Knows Best – Creating an Inner and Outer Support Team
I recently received an email from a friend updating me about a decision she had made about whether to continue participating in a particular activity. Her email outlined her thought process and decision and then she added - “As I was going through my thought process,...
To Whom Are You Loyal – The Freedom to Disagree
The news of politicians being censured for not following the party line, had me recalling something that happened in my college days. In my final year the department decided that we had to do a senior’s exam in my particular major in order to graduate. I chose a...
To Whom Are You Loyal – Conscious and Unconscious Family Bonds
No matter how many systemic constellations I witness, facilitate or experience, I continue to be amazed at the unconscious loyalties we hold within family patterns. Rejection of or by a father leading to inability to maintain a healthy partnership Exclusion of a...
Finding The Good, The Gold, The Gift – Jealous Inspirations
As part of my own personal journey of transformation, I look for ways to change my perception. How can I see things differently? What is the positive in a negative experience? How can I learn from interactions with others? Through my inner exploration I noticed that...
Finding The Good, The Gold, The Gift – Positive Viewpoints
In the core transformational approaches that I use with my clients, one common thread is in finding the gift; the good in what might appear less than positive. There are some powerful ways this focus is represented in my transformational coaching. In Integrative...
A New Year – What Holds Us Back
When you look at your resolutions and goals from years gone by, what do you notice about the obstacles that got in your way and held you back from achieving your desired outcome? Can you see that some of them are obstacles imposed by the world in which you live while...
A New Year – What Moves Us Forward
January is the time of year when we make resolutions, establish goals, and determine how we move forward into a new year. As I was reflecting on some practices that I utilize and saw others discuss online, I noticed an interesting distinction. Some practices are more...
Into the Divide: How to Be Kind to Yourself
As much as it is important to look at how we can come together within our families and communities, it is equally important to look at how to align within ourselves. One of my clients recently commented that after doing the work within themselves (inner work), they...
Into the Divide – What Brings Us Together
Heading into the holiday season it feels like a good time to look at how we can be kind to each other, honor each other, and get along more easily. As I’ve read social media posts and listened to conversations, it is difficult to miss the divisiveness that lives...
Not Good Enough – Uniquely You
I was listening to a conference recently and one of the sessions was about the often discussed thread of “not good enough”. I was struck by something the speaker said when describing an experience she had before writing her first book. When someone casually suggested...
Not Good Enough – Perpetuating a Myth
I recently had a conversation with someone about a completed project. During the conversation, a comparison was made between the project and an outcome it was never meant to achieve. In that moment, I had a clear insight into how someone can create or perpetuate an...
Choice – Impossible Choices
At times we have a single option, while at other times we have too many, making it difficult to decide among them. We hear stories about individuals who have to choose between paying their rent and buying food or those who have to make a life and death decision very...
Choice – A Core of Transformation
It seems that choice is a word frequently in use - even more so these days - as we get closer to the election and hear the criteria people use to make their personal choice. Choice is one of the core concepts in transformational work. I realized that all of the...
Cause and Effect – One Thing Leads to Another
During a recent presentation, I asked the audience If someone remarries, is their first spouse part of the family lineage or not? The responses were a mixture of yes, no, and yes, if there are children involved. The answer is yes. The first spouse is part of that...
Cause and Effect – A Reverberating Gift
Throughout my years of personal transformational work and trainings, the approach of family constellations has uncovered many amazing insights and created profound change. A recent experience highlighted for me, not only the importance of this work but how the system...
Tending Your Personal Landscape – What Digging into The Landscape May Reveal
While we all have heard the importance of taking care of our physical bodies, my experience is there is less focus on other aspects of our personal landscape.
Tending Your Personal Landscape – What is a Personal Landscape?
Earlier this year, the Program Chair for the Raleigh Chapter of the International Coach Federation asked me to be the theme coordinator for the Q3 programs. The Board selected themes for each quarter and with the third quarter’s focus on Tending Your Personal Landscape, she felt that aligned well with my background and interest.
Finding the Good – Revealing the Hidden Lesson
For a long time, I was challenged to see the good in things that happened to me growing up. How could the way certain people treated me possibly contain anything positive? The traumas, the being excluded, feeling deep fear and like I was never enough – these experiences felt overwhelmingly negative without an ounce of positive in the mix.
Finding the Good – What Generalizations Leave Out
One of my grade school teachers recommended that we refrain from using words like never, always, forever, everyone, and no one. While I don’t remember the name of the teacher, I clearly remember what she said.
The True You – Owning All Aspects of Yourself
In viewing the news, it amazes me to see the amount of name-calling, mocking, and other devaluing behaviors demonstrated by “mature” adults. The judgments spewed out towards people who are different from them, who have opinions that disagree with theirs, and who reflect qualities they seem to dislike.
The True You – Systemic Secrets and Excluded Truths
In listening to the coverage of the pandemic metrics, I was reminded of my days managing quality and customer satisfaction in a large corporation. One day a colleague jokingly said to me, “if you want to improve customer satisfaction, get rid of the non-satisfied...
Finding Your Balance – A Sense of Inner Balance
As life goes on during this unprecedented time, I have noticed numerous helpful hints which seem to indicate there is only one way to be in this situation. We can see that is clearly not true given the differences in what essential workers are doing versus...
Finding Your Balance – Reacting in Times of Crisis
The coronavirus pandemic is creating a situation, unlike anything, most of us have experienced in our lifetime. There have been a variety of epidemics, natural disasters, economic downturns, and tragic events - but none with the degree of impact across our physical...
Connection – Reconnect to Disconnect
I recently saw an expanded version of the saying – “people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime – that struck me. The phrase continued with …
Connection – A Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime
One of the core human needs is the need for connection, yet there are a wide variety of ways in which that connection appears in each person’s life.
A Sense of Self – Shifting Identity
Have you ever gone through a life transition and asked yourself the question, who am I now? Consider for a moment, that major life transitions are accompanied by a change in how we describe ourselves. A change in who we are, our sense of self. You become an empty...
A Sense of Self – I AM
When something appears in my world three times, I take it as a sign to pay attention. This has been the case with finding options for my health, pursuing career opportunities, and connecting with new people. The most recent situation in which this occurred was with...